On pulling yourself up by the bootstraps when you really, really don’t feel like it.
One of my favorite articles on PD ever is Amparo’s Why You Should Choose Inspiration Over Motivation. It pointed out how we shouldn’t be always motivating ourselves to do the things we don’t want to do, but actually find what inspires us to take positive action. Overall I really agree with her, but there are still times when I do need motivation, even though my work is in general inspiring and intellectually fulfilling.
Like any job, parts of what I do (say, on-site optimization or technical developments) aren’t particularly fun to me, and often pretty stressful. Other parts that I actually do enjoy can feel harder too, depending on my mood and creativity levels. And then there are days when I just feel down, and yearn to do nothing besides bury my nose in my cat and stay barely breathing. Thankfully, these days are pretty rare; but as long as we’re human, even when we’re doing what we love, inevitably there will be times when we want to give up. The trick is to accept that the feeling of un-motivation /depression is natural, universal (are you human? then yes), cyclical and temporary, and to find a way to break through.
Some days, I really need to snuggle with my cat.
Here’s what I’ve figured out about ways to stay motivated when you are just feeling blah and want to shut down.
1. Take a break and do something you want to do at an unusual hour.
If you have some flexibility, stop sitting in front of the laptop forcing the words to flow, and do something you don’t usually do at that time. Take a sun-drenched walk or take a bath in the middle of the day. Even if you work at a corporate setting, see if you can get away for a lunch hour yoga session. Get your Friday latte on a Wednesday. It refreshes you to be doing something out of the ordinary, even if it’s something small.
2. Erase the deadline.
Sometimes deadlines are motivating and necessary. But other times, it can send your depression and anxiety into an overdrive, which makes it actually harder to accomplish the thing in question. For ex: in the past year, I’ve written 334 newsletters, each with its blurb and matching quote. In the first few months I was absolutely tortured by the idea that the world would end if I couldn’t find the right quote, write a blurb, and send it out by 10 a.m. EST. I’d actually wake up at 5:30 a.m. and start working on it for hours because of this anxiety. (A record was 4 hours. If you can imagine.)
Once I erased that arbitrary deadline I could think more calmly and gain in longevity and consistency. Point is, if you are so drained, close to giving up, and can’t make the deadline, ignore the deadline. Did you need to make this much money this year? Did you need to make x job title by age y and now you feel you can’t go on? Erase all those deadlines. Doing something slowly and finishing is 100% better than not doing it at all. Even if you’re working for someone else, take your sweet time and do it with a more relaxed heart. Newsflash: your slower pace isn’t going to be noticed by anyone except yourself.
3. Just ask yourself to do one thing.
Say you have a task that is sure to test your limits. Either it’s boring and must be done, or more intellectually challenging, but you are out of energy/creativity/motivation. Then ask yourself to do just one part of it. For instance, it might mean answering just one email; looking at just one job posting; writing just one more paragraph for that story you’re working on; or cleaning just one dish (to give an extreme example :)). It’s so little in the asking that you don’t feel like putting yourself through hell. Stop after you do that one thing, see how you feel. If you want to go on, keep going. If not, really just take a break. But chances are, you’ll want to keep going.
4. Be gentle with yourself.
I’ll say it again: it’s not a sprint. Your body, mind and spirit are all going to have to band together and come along on a long, drawn-out marathon. If you’re constantly surviving on short little bursts of self-coercion, one of the three (or more) is going to give out on you. You need to gently nurture yourself along the way so you don’t break down on the road or run out of gas.
Don’t compare your motivation level to other people’s–whatever you have is perfectly fine, and everyone fluctuates, anyway. If you need time away, take time away–but do it intentionally, and enjoy it–so much so that you actually get hungry for work again.
5. Keep your eye on the prize.
Why do you do what you do? Why all the struggles? If you can’t answer this question clearly, sit down with yourself and really find the answer. If you do know what you’re doing this for, then remind yourself once again: vividly visualize your prize, as if you could see, breathe, and feel it. Your present work might not feel like much at this moment, but it’s the best thing you can be doing to get what you want in the next moment.
How do you keep yourself motivated when you’re feeling blah?
Related: Why It’s Okay to Feel Burned out – and 5 Ways to Recover
Why Struggling is Sometimes a Good Thing
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Photo: https://unsplash.com/ohhhchelsea; Peaceful Dumpling
